(Open onto several shots with the problems of the modern computer)
Infomercial man (Thomas): Are you tired of having to fight with your desktop and laptop? Are they always breaking, shutting off, and giving you error messages? Constantly distracted on the internet while doing your assignments? Freezing screens or slow loading? Well, there’s always been the typewriter! With no screen to work about or complicated computer system, typing will be a breeze. Oh, not you computers, you guys aren’t welcome here.
But before we try and get you to buy one right away, let’s hear a little bit about how this machine revolutionized history.
(Showing images that go along with the history)
History narrator (Angie): The antecedents of the typewriter are the typography process and printing press. Typography has allowed people to organize letters into a legible order. The printing press began the mass production of texts. The first typewriter patent came from Henry Mill in Great Britain in 1774. Little is known about this machine as there are no descriptions left from Mills, other than that he wished to produce a device that was intended for the impressing or transcribing of letters singly or progressively one after another, as in writing. Williams Austin Burt is credited with creating the first typewriter in America in 1829, however, it was a crude model and of little use to sell commercially and the record of the patent and only model of the device were both destroyed in a fire. The first commercially successful typewriter was created by Sholes, Glidden, and Soule in 1867 and it evolved to the Remington typewriter. It has continued to improve for many years after. Between the years of 1914 to 1923 James Fields Smathers produced the first power operated typewriter and in 1935 IBM manufactured the electromatic model 01 which operates on a motor that controls all aspects of typing. Many of the changes made to improve the typewriter can be seen in modern day typewriters and computers.
(Open onto an office scene with women working at their desks with typewriters)
Infomercial man (Thomas): Breaking News! Dateline 1940. Only a few short years ago women were stuck at home being tailors and maids and homemakers. Now the career of the modern woman is… a typist! Hard to believe that little machine helped accomplish all this.
In general, the typewriter was a revolutionary invention. This was especially true for women. The typewriter allowed women to get out of the house and become part of the workforce and earn money doing things that were seen as a woman’s job, such as being a secretary. The invention of the typewriter created more jobs that were socially acceptable for a woman to have.
(To the workers) Pretty soon one of you will have that corner office, right ladies? (Ladies give a smile and thumbs up)
(Two testimonials of people who use the typewriter. One from Ernest Hemingway, the other a modern day author. )
Infomercial man (Thomas): And now let’s hear some user testimonials.
(Hemingway enters the scene, sits as his desk as he begins to type.)
Hemingway (Thomas): People often ask me, “Ernest, how are you so good at writing?” I tell them, it’s not that I’m a good writer, but it’s the quality of the instruments that I use. My mind, my words, and my typewriter. Without which, I doubt I would have been able to create what others call my masterworks: The Old Man in the Sea, For Whom the Bell Tolls, and so on. And yet still, people ask me, “How can you give credit to a machine for your writing? Writing is hard.” I tell them, “There is nothing to writing. All you did is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”
(Modern day author sits at her desk, typing away)
Modern day author (Kasey): I bought my first typewriter at the start if my writing career. I like using it because it allows me to get away from the distractions of the outside world. It’s just me, my coffee, my typewriter, and my thoughts. I like the IBM Selectric for writing my manuscripts because it gives me so much power over my writing. Hemingway had it wrong, there is something to writing. You don’t just sit down at a typewriter and bleed you story onto the paper. You breathe life into it with your words.
(Running and door crashing sounds. Hemingway’s voice enters)
Hemingway (Thomas): HOW DARE YOU? How dare you say that about my work? That was a very good quote, how could you just dis me like that?
MDA (Kasey): I don’t mean any disrespect. I’m just saying in my opinion, it’s not just about blood, it’s about what you breathe into the words that you’re writing.
Hemingway: BREATHING? BREATHING? Who has any use of breathing? Breathing’s lame. I’ll tell you what great, bleeding your words onto the paper through your broken heart. That’s true writing.
MDA: Well I have a PhD that says your breathe life into your words.
(Pictures of typewriters being used in the classroom are shown)
Classroom narrator (Jackie): It was just two generations ago when parents began to coerce and cajole their sons to learn typing in high school. Five days a week, one hour classes. The same amount of time was devoted to teaching and learning typing as English and math and science! The vision of the necessity of the typewriter in the work place – even for men – was becoming apparent. At the very least, parents knew it would become a huge asset in college.
(Images of typewriters in the background)
Infomercial man (Thomas): Now that we’ve covered the historical aspects of this wonderful device, let’s now focus on the more practical aspects of owning your own typewriter. For one, it is a truly elegant device. Something that people will admire when they come and see you. They will think to themselves, “Well, this is truly a scintillating person. A person with own I could have the deepest of conversations.” Not only that, but they make a great centerpiece for discussions, as all typewriters have a story behind them. Furthermore, if you are a fan of antiques, a typewriter sitting along by a window or languidly in a corner really ties a room together. After all, these machines were made to look elegant. As they were a status symbol once and they still are today.
(Video showing ease of cleaning the typewriter)
The benefits of owning a typewriter also extend to its care. In this day and age, it’s hard to take care of your computer; both online and in real life. Sometimes things can break and it’s not pretty. But for a typewriter, care is easy. All you have to do it rub it down with a cloth, make sure none of the pins are sticking, and put it away for easy travel. See? Easy as pie.
(Images of typewriters in the background)
So now comes the part where you decide, do you want to be able to write something profound uninterrupted? Without distractions from the outside world? Without a constant update, a ping of notifications? Or would you rather have a soft clicking as you type out your words in beautiful bold ink? If so, then the typewriter is definitely for you. And it can be yours for only $49.99 plus shipping and handling, but only if you call now.
(Phone number on screen)
For easier typing, just call the number on your screen to order your typewriter! Normally they sell for $100, but if you call in the next three minutes you can get one for just $49.99. That’s write $49.99 and we’ll throw in a cover for free! Just pay shipping and handling! To order just call 1-555-897-7487. Again to get your own typewriter with a free cover for just $49.99 plus shipping and handling, call 1-555-879-7487! Don’t wait, this offer expires soon!
Offer of typewriter for $49.99 not valid in these United States. Offer of free cover with purchase of typewriter also not valid in these United States. Do not call into this number expecting to buy a typewriter a there will be no typewriters for you. Thank you and have a wonderful day.